Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you. Dr. Seuss

“From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!” – Dr. Seuss 

We are excited to have a Dr. Seuss theme for food at our Silent Auction this year!  Don’t miss out on the fun.   Mentors and Community Members are invited to join us: 

FYI Silent Auction Party – Saturday June 12, 2010 -7:00 PM at Salida Steamplant 

Mentors and mentees, we hope you’ll consider creating something to contribute to the fundraiser . . .  

Food is Fun, Fun is Food baking for FYI is Food and Fun!

Think outside the box – creative jewelry, crafts, bird houses, monthly services, wind chimes and other fun projects mentors and mentees have completed together can be dropped off at FYI 448 E. 1st Street Salida or call for arrangements.  Retro Desserts needed – Rice Crispy Treats,  Jell-o cakes, cream pies, cookies and more that have been stirred, poured and molded together can be dropped off at Salida Steamplant on June 12th – 3:00 to 5:00 PM. 

PLEASE CALL AHEAD IF YOU’RE PLANNING ON DONATING ITEMS OR DESSERTS:     719.530.2581 (Salida) or   719.395.7006  (Buena Vista) 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS! 

Thursday May 27, 2010

5:15 PM – 6:30 PM

Salida Library

Presented by:  Planned Parenthood

Snacks will be provided

FREE for all Mentors

Reserve your spot ASAP by calling 719.530.2581 (Salida) or 719.395.7006 (Buena Vista)

We’re thrilled to welcome educator Liza Cochran from Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains out of Colorado Springs for this SPECIAL & IMPORTANT TRAINING!  Mentors, we hope you can join us.

Description of training: Sharpen your skills around talking with youth about sexuality and sexual health. Participants have the opportunity to explore their own values about sexuality in a safe and non-judgmental environment. We will also explore how to respond to difficult questions from youth about sexuality and how to plan an effective conversation with a young person.

Hey Mentors! You are AMAZING, and we want to know how to support you best! From everything you tell us, the Coffee Talks are “really important,” “so helpful.”

However, the past 3 months we have had a steady decline in attendance with only three folks in July and one in August. We want to be sure that this is a service that still fulfills the original desire of our mentors: to have time with other mentors to learn and share ideas and tips on mentoring.  Please take a few minutes to complete an anonymous survey that will help us create the mentor support YOU want.

We will be assembling the data from this survey in December and deciding whether to resume the Coffee Talks. Please take the survey by NOVEMBER 30th.

Thanks!

Go here: Coffee Talk Survey

Volunteer Mentors Steve Phillips and Himani Ellis enjoyed Dr. Bavolek's presentation

Founder of the Nurturing Parenting Program, Dr. Steven Bavolek, visited Chaffee County the week of April 6th.  During his visit, he presented to various groups, including an open discussion with 18 mentors, parents, and community members held Thursday, April 9th at Bongo Billy’s Salida Cafe.  Dr. Bavolek offered valuable insights into the deeper meaning of nurturing.  Derived from the Latin, nutritura, meaning “to nourish, nurse, and promote growth,” nurturing can be either positive or negative.  When it is negative, it is abusis (Latin meaning harsh, mean, and cruel) or negligere (Latin meaning to not pick up or touch).  Dr. Bavolek reviewed the three kinds of touch – hurting, sexual/scary, gentle – and shared his philosophy of zero tolerance of hurting or scary touch.  While many adults claim that they were spanked as a kid and turned out fine, Dr. Bavolek reminds us that most people who were hit can remember each and every instance in which that happened during childhood.  “Remembering an event 20 years ago like it was yesterday is called trauma,” Bavolek said.

To practice the value of gentle touch and positive nurturing, Bavolek had each of us hold hands with a partner and compliment him or her.  The job of the person being complimented was to say, “thank you.”  A seemingly simple task is not so easy in a world where many have had childhoods with more negative nurturing than positive.  As we held hands, we learned that we are 99.8% genetically the same as all other human beings.  Bavolek said, “as you hold another, you are holding yourself.”  At the end of this exercise, Bavolek had us all offer a “strength bombardment” to Heather Barron, Chaffee County Mentors Program Coordinator.  We should include remember to give our youth regular strength bombardments.

Another way to offer positive nurturing is praise.  Dr. Bavolek encouraged us to distinguish between praise “for doing” and praise “for being” and to not give both at the same time.  Bavolek continued offering powerful advice for our mentors:  “Offer our kids unconditional regard and remember that they are greater than their behavior.  Every kid is a basic caring individual, biologically predisposed to form and maintain long-term positive relationships.  At the same time, kids have developed behaviors to adapt to their circumstances – they are wearing an adaptive shell.  When kids are ‘acting out’, then catch them ‘acting in’.  When they seem to be lacking accountability, notice the situations in which they are being accountable.”  Notice how our actions (as mentors, parents, etc.) reinforce negative behavior.  We need to make sure to include our youth when develop rules and consequences.

We also discussed the power of empathy.  All of us have feelings and thoughts.  Feelings have energy and energy wants expression.  How can we help youth express their feelings?  We were encouraged to really listen to our youth and not to squelch their feelings.  As an illustration, Dr. Bavolek had us write three feelings, each on a small piece of paper.  We then walked around the room and socialized until Dr. Bavolek stopped us.  Each time we stopped, Bavolek shared how an adult might ignore a child, and we had to drag one of the feelings under a foot or a hand.  Pretty soon, we were hunched over, moving as if we were crippled.  Positive adults in the lives of youth have the ability to help them feel heard, stand up straight, and move forward.

Dr. Bavolek is excited about the positive nurturing happening in Chaffee County and wants to continue offering his support of our community.  We are looking forward to his next visit.

There really is nothing better than acceptance! Jelissa Q. and Lawton at Monarch

Tuesday night was our third monthly Mentor Coffee Talk. After some mingling, yummy, hot beverages and a great mentoring discussion, Miki Hodge, Chaffee County Mentors founder, joined us for the last fifteen minutes of the talk. She shared her powerful experience of being mentored as a youth. Within just a few minutes, she gave us some clear reminders that we do not always know the impact we are having on the lives of our youth. She told us how disinterested she became as she grew into being a teenager, and yet how deeply changed she was because her mentors kept showing up regardless of how she acted. “They were consistent,” she said. “And I knew, no matter what, someone would come for me every Wednesday.”

Consistency is such a simple quality. Yet many mentors express feeling like they are not doing enough, or that they don’t believe they are making a difference. Miki reminded all of us that, “Nothing is better than acceptance.” How true this is. Loving acceptance of our youth is what really matters. And as much as we wish our mentees loved all of our ideas, or the activities we planned, or the gifts that we gave them – it is our consistency and acceptance of them that is making the lasting impression.

This is what sticks with Miki after all these years. And she is quite the success story! If you ever need inspiration to stay excited about mentoring, or you just need some reminders of what mentoring is all about – call us! Or call Miki – she says she is here to help us know that we are always having an impact on our kids – just by showing up!

We also encourage you to attend the monthly Coffee Talks for camaraderie and support. There is an abundance of wisdom within our mentoring family! The Coffee Talks are loosely structured so that mentors may show up with whatever challenges, learnings or highlights they wish to share and discuss. Topics that have come up so far: Who should be planning the activities more – the mentor or the youth? How to be most supportive with mentee’s academic needs without pushing them away or making them dread mentoring? What to do when your mentee is lying or stealing? How to get kids to show up when they say they will? How to deal with communication issues?

Our next two Coffee Talks will take place on Tuesday evening, April 28^th from 5:15-6:30pm in the Community Room at Bongo’s Salida Café, and Thursday evening, May 28^th – both in Salida (although we will be planning a talk for Buena Vista soon!). Please stay tuned and read the next newsletter for the location and time of May’s Coffee Talk. We look forward to seeing you soon, and hearing how your mentoring relationship is going!

]]> http://chaffeementors.org/2009/04/theres-nothing-better-than-acceptance/feed/ 2 http://chaffeementors.org/2009/03/the-texting-life-of-a-teen/ http://chaffeementors.org/2009/03/the-texting-life-of-a-teen/#comments Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:26:54 +0000 Eleanor Fahrney http://chaffeementors.org/?p=720 Texting – or text messaging – is one of the topics of our mentor training this week – held tonight at the Salida Middle School and Thursday night at McGinnis Middle School in Buena Vista.  An understanding of texting is essential to connecting with current teen culture.  One study shows that teens send 7.5 times more text messages than they make phone calls.  Is texting something mentors should take up as a way to stay in touch with their mentees?

A February 2009 article in the Seattle times indicates that some teens may be addicted to texting and internet use.  At the same time, a University of Pennsylvania professor feels that quantity of writing increases writing performance overall for youth.  More discussion of whether texting has academic value can be found in this March 2005 article in the Christian Science Monitor.  Perhaps the best role that a mentor can play is to be curious about what is important to your mentee while setting appropriate boundaries for your time together.  For instance, I make a point at the beginning of a visit with any youth to remind them that their cell phone should be turned off in order to honor our time together.  Meanwhile, I model my request by turning my phone to vibrate.

Mentors should also be aware that cyberbullying faces 1 in 10 US teens.  America Learns has created a valuable cyberbullying toolkit for mentors.  Click here to read more.

Computers are an important resource for all matches, including those in Youth In Action

“Connect Better with Your Mentee and Access Resources USING TECHNOLOGY” is not to be missed!  This one-hour training for mentors and volunteers will be offered in each town and will explore topics including the value of texting and email in mentoring, using our website as a resource, understanding how we access mentees’ grades online, entering mentoring hours online, and blogging.   Join us: Tuesday, March 17th, 5:30pm-6:30pm at Salida Middle School computer lab OR Thursday, March 19th, 5:30pm – 6:30pm at McGinnis Middle School computer lab in Buena Vista.  Call us with questions:  539-2630 OR 395-7006.

Alison and Whitney joined us at our October Group Activity on October 11th and enjoyed not only a burrito dinner and watching “The Princess Bride” at Starpoint but also taking lots of photos.  The photo above has the classic self-portrait look  . . . and indicates what fun Alison and Whitney are having together.

Alison Peticolas has been a mentor with us since the fall of 2005 and has been an amazing friend to Megan.  Thanks in part to Alison’s support, Megan took the courageous leap to spend a year abroad in Hungary.  Alison was re-matched with Whitney on September 25th and they hit it off from the beginning.  Both Whitney and Alison love dogs and they took a dog walking course from Karen Thorpe at the Ark Valley Humane Society.  They both mentioned how great the workshop was and how much they’re looking forward to going back to hang out and walk the dogs.  They also share a passion for reading and the outdoors and are excited about all the adventures their year together will bring. 

Thanks, Alison, for your continued support!

Alison and Whitney’s idea to take a workshop together on something they both enjoy is something all matches should consider.  Learning together creates a connection and a foundation from which to share a common interest.  Call Heather or me for more ideas on possible shared learning experiences – 719-395-7006 or 719-539-2630.

22 youth & mentors participated in SCR's Generational Relay last July. Absolute Bikes donated free bike rentals to our matches for the event.

Absolute Bikes not only offers bike repair for our youth – they also organize fun learning opportunities for youth and adults.  For instance, this Saturday, October 4th at 1pm, youth and mentors can participate for free in ”Take a Kid Mountain Biking Day” sponsored by Salida Mountain Trails with support from Absolute Bikes and in conjunction with the International Mountain Biking Association (IMBA).

To attend Saturday, complete the Absolute Bikes Waiver and call Absolute Bikes at 539-9295 to pre-register (this helps them know how many volunteers they need and allows you to reserve your free use of a bike and helmet – they have a limited number).  Then, take the completed waiver, a water bottle, sunscreen, and a wind or rain jacket (if you have one) and meet at the parking lot behind Absolute and Bongo Billy’s Salida Cafe at 1:00 pm.  (The activity will be canceled if it is raining.)

Volunteer Mary Ann Davidson says, “The plan is to ride mostly on paved trails, some on paved road, & some on dirt paths. The ride up Spiral Drive is optional.  We’ll divide into at least 3 groups so everyone can ride their own pace, walk anything that looks intimidating (we will go down the fairly steep hill from Cty Rd 160 to Franz Lake), or even take a short cut back that would skip the part around the lake.”  This is a great opportunity for matches!  However, if a mentor or parent can’t attend, kids can still go as long as they take the completed waiver.

As stated on their website, IMBA’s International Take a Kid Mountain Biking Day celebrates the life of Jack Doub, an avid teenage mountain biker from North Carolina who had a true passion for the sport from an early age but passed away in 2002. Funding is provided by the Jack Doub Memorial Endowment. The event takes place each year on the first Saturday in October.

Absolute Bikes also recently supported 4th graders (including several Chaffee County Mentors youth) by donating 91 nice bike helmets to Longfellow Elementary.  Five Absolute employees went to each of 4 classes for 90 minutes and taught the students how to wear a helmet, basic rules of the road, and safety.  After showing the kids how to fit the helmets they then offered a bicycle skills class including balancing around on a 2×4, coming to a mock intersection, and riding through a slalom of cones.  As our mentors know, wearing helmets is required for matches when riding together.  Absolute’s education around helmet use provides essential groundwork for supporting youth buy-in to such a critical safety practice.

Throughout this year, our matches (and everyone in the community) will continue to have opportunities to build skills through the free bike clinics offered by Absolute.  Click here to see the schedule for these free workshops.  Mentors, perhaps you could plan a day around attending one of the free clinics and then going for a ride with your mentee.

Chaffee County Mentors offers a HUGE THANK YOU to Absolute Bikes for their ongoing support of Chaffee County Mentors and this community through donations and special events.  For more information, visit Absolute Bike’s website.  Also check out IMBA’s Useful Tips for Taking Kids Cycling.

Trash in Bags, Not by the Creek

As I was walking my dog, Buddy, by the creek across from my house the other day, I decided to grab a couple of trash bags.  Although I normally grab a small trash bag to pick up Buddy’s waste, this time I was grabbing some larger bags.  The creekside was coated with trash, bottles, and cans, and I wanted to change that.  Within 15 minutes, we had gathered 2 full bags of trash and recycling (I say ‘we’ loosely — Buddy was mostly drinking from the creek as I picked up stuff).  I realized afterwards how satisfied I felt and how I would have liked to have shared that experience with a young person.  So, I’m encouraging matches to find ways to engage in service to our community – even if it’s 15 minutes helping your neighborhood. 

An article from The Tutor (Fall 2007) entitled “The Ripple Effect: When Mentors & Mentees Volunteer Together” (by Jennifer Goddard) states: “Volunteering together builds civic responsibility while helping youth to identify their skills,values, and important role helping address community needs. Serving the community together can deepen the mentoring relationship as the mentor and mentee connect with each other and the larger community, which also benefits in turn. Like the ripple effect created by dropping a pebble into a pond, pairing mentoring and service can amplify and extend the benefits.”  Click here to read more of The Ripple Effect-Fall07.