Match Stories

YOUTH SPEAKS AT FYI SILENT AUCTION

By Katie P, age 17.  June 2009.

Hi, my name is Katie.  I was asked to talk because I’ve been involved in Chaffee County Mentors for about five years. I’ve mentored preschoolers in Youth In Action for four years and I have had a mentor for about a year.

I started in 7^th grade and throughout the years I have seen the programs and the people involved in the programs grow in ways that still surprise them. I’ve seen preschoolers who didn’t like reading; go home at the end of the year begging to read to their parents. I’ve seen middle schoolers become more confident leaders and better students, ready to go onto the next grade level. I’ve seen some of the most nonsocial kids who now can’t stop talking because they have someone who took the time to get to know them. And during our group activities my mentor, Kelly, and I have made new friends with the other matches and gotten closer with each other.

In these programs, adults, kids, and the community all benefit. Without the programs I’ve been involved with, I wouldn’t be as good a leader as I am now. The schools offer several ways for students to get involved but I could never get my friends to join anything with me. When I was picked to be in youth in action, I was scared. When I look back, I’m always glad that I joined.

This year, because of Chaffee County Mentors, I was able to get a scholarship to start dancing again and last summer I got a scholarship to do an Outward Bound trip. I wouldn’t have been able to do either without their help. My older brother, Robbie, was part of Youth at crossroads. He enjoyed being able to hang out outside the house in a safe place and just be a teenager. I also know a family in Nurturing Parenting that has gotten closer because of the program to. All of these programs help families and matches get closer. They help kids who can’t do a lot because they can’t find anything that interests them in town.

As I said before I’ve seen these programs change throughout the years that I’ve been involved and they always change for the better. I thank you for the support you’re giving because it helps keep all of these wonderful programs going so that we can change more lives and help in more ways.

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APPRECIATION THROUGH POETRY

By Eleanor Fahrney, May 2009

Heather and I showed our gratitude at our Volunteer Appreciation Dinner on Tuesday, May 12th, through verse.  Admittedly, I enjoy corny poetry, but was comforted to have a mentor come up to me afterwards and say, “the poems weren’t as cheesy as I thought they would be.”  You can make your own evaluation as you read below; mostly, we hope you’ll get a sense of the difference our volunteers are making through the connections they are building with youth in Chaffee County.  Thank You, Mentors and Volunteers!

All it takes
To see the difference you make
Is in the way the kids adore you
They may seem to ignore you,
But then they tell us everything you said.
*
So here are stories
of all the glory
Of the time you give
Of the way you live
Of the lives you’ve touched
Of why we thank you so much.
*
Ryan knew Randy would be there
No matter where
he was.
Randy showed up
To help Ryan look up
And see hope of more.
Now Randy helps at activities
Sand dunes, pool parties, climbing trees
A lucky boy’s playful partner.
*
Brad Marquardt – the man of all seasons
Activity helper – if he left it would be treason
Master of the mentor sign.
Last week he helped Dakota master his fears
With patience and optimism he was full of cheers
Willing to put his life on the line.
*
Christina and Jane are our photo queens
At most group activities they can be seen
Smiling and laughing.
3 and half years, now coming to close
The memories will last, Eleanor knows,
And continue with Christina.
*
Megan moved away
But Robin committed to stay
In touch.
A dedicated friend is what Megan needs
Robin continues to listen and plant those seeds
Of encouragement.
*
A master of texting with her mentee
Hillary is hip and continues to see
Melissa’s potential.
Hillary makes extra effort to stay in touch
Melissa knows she cares very much
And will always be her friend.
*
Josh only wanted a mentor if it was going to be Steve
They’ve had lots of adventures in the trees
But a hard time scheduling.
They’ve decided to get together every Thursday
Tennis is what Josh wants to play
Learning from Steve.
*
Bruce and Zack stay busy, connect when they can
Bruce has offered to give Zack a helping hand
At school.
At activities they’ve had a blast
Like bowling, movies, and sledding fast
And hanging at the pool.
*
Erik goes the extra mile for Tony
Boarding trips all over just to see
Him succeed.
Erik helps him make his choices good
Tony stops by for free food
and helps mentor Ryver.
*
Candice pierces her ears
Then can’t wait to hear
What Angie will say.
They’ve got a bond like sisters
Together they ride the Twister
At Elitches.
*
De adores her mentor
They can chill together
Through all the ups and downs.
Menessah knows how to tell De
Exactly what she wants her to see
‘Bout her affect on others.
*
Todd and Dakota, they just met;
They talked ‘bout swords and their pets
And hangin’ out this week.
Todd sees great potential,
Will support the essential
Skills Dakota will need.
*
Dave’s a model of persistence
And Jesse’s very insistent
That they keep hanging out.
Jewelry, a bank account, and photography
Practical skills Dave has taught Jesse
Building a forever bond.
*
Dinner every Wednesday is their routine
Dexter broke both legs snowboarding
And Bob hung in there.
The told me “We’ll always be friends”
Bob’s seen Dexter hold his head
Higher than before.
*
When we visit Charlotte at lunch at school
She can’t stop talking ‘bout how cool
Her mentor, Laura, is.
On the phone, they talk every week
To Charlotte, it’s her favorite treat
To have Laura as a friend.
*
Movie queens, cooks extraordinaire
Kelly and Katie, a classic pair
Are fun ladies to be around
Always laughing, having fun
Whether rainy or in the sun
Good times with them always abound
*
Little lego-men found here and there
Brock bouncing like Tigger everywhere
Building worlds that boggle Jack’s mind
Campfires every Tuesday night
Smiles ever shining bright
Never a dull moment do they find.
*
Denise and Sierra have their special routines and traditions-
Seatbelt races, baking, even dance auditions-
Every Tuesday.
Denise’s weekly dedication
Is Sierra’s weekly elation
They are inseparable.
*
Olivia sweet as strawberry pie
Cherith the apple of her eye
Laughter the soundtrack of their time!
Going fishing in Woodland Park
Ice cream and bikes – what a lark!
Ideas they come up with are always prime.
*
LaDonna and Sarah about the town
Giggling and always playing around
The care between them is deep
Making jewelry at Beadsong
Matched this month 1-year long
Good friends in each other they do keep.
*
Basketball, baking, & milking a cow
Ice cream, deep discussions, and teaching how
To drive.
Josh told Andrew to read Twilight
Andrew stayed up reading all night
Loving the influence of his mentee.
*
These two go together like peas and carrots
Show them something cute – no doubt they’ll wear it
Salad is their favorite food
Skiing together like little snowbunnies
Always cracking little funnies
Warming others with their sunny mood.
*
Read and Andrew newly matched
Already fun plans they have hatched
Hard these two together shall play
Read will take Andrew out on the water
On a mountain bike Andrew will get Read to totter
Throughout Salida, their fun on display
*
Laurie took Shantel under her wings
To help her learn all the things
To get into college.
Shantel’s still deciding
And has Laurie to confide in
Over coffee at Bongos.
*
Cahoots is what they’re always in
Racing each other, trying to win
Alissa and Ellen, a perky pair!
Knitting scarves, playing by the river
Once soggy, Alissa did shiver
But nothing hot chocolate couldn’t repair!
*
Both big-hearted and heads held high
Dave and Tyler are really good guys
To them, playing in the snow is fun
Dave travels and shares his stories
Tyler shares his dreams and glories
While playing in the sun.
*
German is going to Outward Bound
This summer because Glenn is so sound
In all his mentor support.
These two serve others
Without any druthers
And are always such great sports.
*
Ever our cheerleader extraordinaire
Finding funding everywhere
Her hard work keeps this all afloat.
In Girls Circle she gracefully guides
Young women she fills with great self-pride
With Arden we’d paddle ANY boat!
*
Miss Nancy, ever the graceful presence
Lends a hand without any hesitance.
She is always tried and true.
She lightens our hearts and keeps us informed
With her we feel sheltered from all the storms
That try to make us blue.

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JANUARY IS NATIONAL MENTORING MONTH

By Jennifer Dempsey, January 2008

Edited version published in The Mountain Mail

Jack Chivvis was nervous when he first started mentoring a 13-year old boy three and a half years ago.

“For the first year we were together he really didn’t talk too much, and I was like, ’oh man does this kid even like me?’” said the 68 year old artist and outdoor sports enthusiast. “But he was really wanting to do a lot of outdoors stuff. Even though he wasn’t a chit chatty kind of kid, everytime I took him out rafting or biking he’d rise to the physical challenge. We didn’t necessarily need to do a lot of talking.”

Chivvis credits Miki Hodge, founder of Chaffee County Mentors, for helping him make the transition from mentor to friend with the now 17 year old young man.

“Miki was tremendous,” he said. “She really helped me through times when I was like, ‘is this really working?’ It’s a little scary, getting matched up with some kid you don’t know and feeling this expectation that you have to do something, show them something, and not really knowing what that is.”

Through the program, Hodge secured a scholarship for the young man to go on a two-week mountaineering course.

“He had a huge breakthrough,” Chivvis said. “He was able to see how he stacked up against other kids, especially upper middle class kids. When he got back we had a thirty minute conversation on the phone. He just opened up after that.”

Chivvis and his mentee don’t see each other as much as they used to, but that’s because “he’s growing up and he’s busy,” he said. “He has a job and a girlfriend. He’ll be going off to college at the end of the year. As kids get to be about 15 or 16 they kind of naturally grow out of the program.  But I imagine some of the stuff we’ve done together, the biking, rafting, we’ll continue to do…because what’s happened is, we’ve become friends.”

Chivvis has encouraged other men to become mentors, something the program definitely needs.

“It’s not that much of a time commitment and it’s definitely a rewarding thing to do,” he said.

“The best part, well, it’s kind of hard to say or put into words. Just hanging out. My wife and I don’t have kids so we really haven’t hung out with a lot of kids until the last couple of years. It brings you back to your childhood. You’re able to look through their eyes. Until you do it you don’t really realize it. The buzz you get is amazing.”

January is National Mentoring Month and the Chaffee County Mentors are celebrating. Not only do they have 30 adult/child matches and more than 40 adult volunteers, but the award-winning program will celebrate its fifth anniversary this winter.

“The first year I had seven kids involved in Mentoring actitivies,” explained Miki Hodge, who founded the program in 2003. When she left four years later, more than 100 children were involved and the program had received several awards, including the 2004 Upstart Award. Chaffee County Mentors was also named the model program for the Colorado Health and Human Services for work with children in foster care.

“The mentors made it happen,” she said. “They are the ones who’d come up with incredible ideas of ways to tailor the experience for the kids. Mentors have to be flexible to tailor not only to the kids but also to the family. Mentoring is really about creating a friendship, and friendships take work, but they need to be fun.”

Fun and friendship are a big part of mentoring, but so is reliability, she said.

“Absolutely the most important part about being a mentor is being reliable,” she said. “If you create another unreliable adult relationship in that child’s life it’s actually more detrimental. Mentoring is about creating trust and reliability.”

Chaffee County Mentors provide one-to-one friendships to children in need of additional positive role models in their lives. Local youth ages 7 to 15 years facing challenges academically, economically and socially are matched with responsible adult volunteers. Volunteers meet with their child three times per month for a few hours at a time.

Children can be referred to the program through school counselors, teachers, social services and juvenile diversion efforts. Volunteer adult mentors must be at least 21 years in age, must have a genuine interest in young people, with the ability to commit to the program for at least one year. The adults serve as both a friend and an advocate for the youth. Mentors and kids have the opportunity to participate in monthly-organized fun and educational group activities and other structured benefits throughout the Chaffee County area.

The Mentor program also offers Couples Match, in which married couples can be matched to a child; and Family Matches, in which parents with children can be matched as a “family” to a child in the community.

When Hodge had a baby last year, she realized she wouldn’t have the time to run the program as she felt it ought to be run, so she passed on the reins to current program manager Eleanor Farhney.

“It was a very difficult decision to leave but I knew I couldn’t offer the quality it demanded,” she said. “It was always my goal that the mentors could reach me any time of the day. Mentors need a lot of support, they are on the front line. Eleanor took it on because she loved it as much as I did. I could not have asked for a better transition. If there’s anyone that’s going to do it right, it’s her.”

Colleen Kunkle, mentor

Colleen Kunkle got more than a mentee when she signed up with the Chaffee County Mentors.

“She’s my new best friend,” the 53-year old businesswomen said laughing, referring to her 13 and a half year old mentee. “We see each other two or three times a week and we talk on the phone in between. She’s so much a part of my life. She’s like a member of my family, like a neice. She’s just a gem.”

Kunkle became a mentor last August, because, she said, after raising three sons she needed “girl energy in my life, and young girl energy. We have such a great time together.

She could care less if we just sat in a car and talked. She comes to my house, we knit together. We don’t do much that costs much money.”

She continued: “She keeps me laughing and smiling. Her observations are so keen and poignant, she’s a very bright young woman. The first day we met we ended up hanging out, paling around and falling in love. We talked about religion, boys and sex…nothing was sacred. We connect on so many levels. She’s always telling me how crazy she is about me and it’s so wonderful because I am crazy about her too.”

Jude Silva, mentor

Jude Silva became a mentor for “purely selfish” reasons.

“I have 13 grandchildren and they all live in California, so it was a way of getting some child energy into my life,” said the 67-year old artist and teacher who has mentored thwo girls over the past four and a half years. “It’s been a really good part of my life. I have been really fortunate with all of the young women I have worked with. Mostly it’s just spending time, just carrying on conversations, babble uninterrupted!” she said laughing. “I have had two babblers, both of them were like wind up toys. They wouldn’t be quiet until I dropped them off. They just loved being listened to.”

She continued: “I’m a pretty avid gardener, I have a pretty good vegetable garden every year. It’s great fun to be with the mentees, they can see things start, see it grow. (My seven year old mentee) was around when we planted squash seeds and her zucchini plants were awesome. The bigger the zucchini the happier she was. She truly believed they did it just for her.”

Silva described mentoring as a priviledge.

“If they don’t want you in their life they don’t have to let you in, both the mentees and the families,” she said.

Laura Knelange, mentor

For Laura Knelange, being a mentor means helping make a child’s dream come true.

“For (my mentee), her dream is to be an actress, so last year she tried out for Stage Left’s production of Charlotte’s Web. She and her sister made it and they were fabulous!”

A retired political lobbyist, Knelange said, the best part of mentoring is ”seeing the kids grow in self esteem and become confident, seeing them achieve goals and have opportunites they would have never had had. It means they get to experience things that wouldn’t otherwise be open to them. It allows them to expand their horizons, which is so important, especially in a small town, to let them know there’s more to do than Walmart and the military…that there is college and education.”

She said she would encourage anyone to consider mentoring.

“I think people are concerned about the level of commitment,” she said, “but it’s not overwhelming and it’s fun. It’s so well organized. (Program managers) Eleanor and Laurie (Coggins) are so supportive. It’s a really fun way to be involved in the community. I would have liked to have had an adult mentor when I was growing up!”

Eleanor Fahrney, program manager

“The mentoring program really taps into two main interests of mine: helping kids and linking adults with kids,” said Eleanor Fahrney, program manager of Chaffee County Mentors. “Mentoring helps people become involved in their community in a way that they might not otherwise. It helps our whole community get a sense of our whole community, rather than just our own particular circles we run in.”

Fahrney mentored for two and a half years before becoming program manager.

“Mentoring gave me the opportunity to build longer term relationship with a kid and to help connect her to our greater community. For instance, she’d never been to contra dance, she had never hiked, yet she had lived here longer than I had. By linking the two of us, we could then link her to the community.”

She said it is normal for mentors to question their roles at times.

“It’s a common thing for mentors to wonder if their role is really needed,” she said. “Then you start to wonder is this the kid to benefit the most? It was good for me to see that (my mentee) had a really strong relationship with her mom, yet I could still be an asset to her family. Having someone outside the family to talk to is incredibly powerful. It can actually increase the strength of the family overall.”

The Chaffee County Mentoring Program will celebrate its fifth anniversary on March 11, 2008 at the Frontier Ranch. For more information about how to become a Chaffee County Mentor or supporter, call 539-2630 or go to www.chaffeementors.org.